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Waiting for the right person to come around and treat us the way we want to be treated sounds exhausting. In the era of modernisation, dating is seen as a necessity rather than a source of happiness and joy. When we get into a relationship with someone, we accept them as they are with their flaws and imperfections. However, it is indeed important to look out for some major green flags in the person you are dating for a smooth and happy love life. Therefore, we have compiled a list of some important green flags that are important to formulate a healthy and long-lasting relationship.
Don’t…let the last two years deter you from finding love. If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s to cherish life. Reflect and really think about what is important to you. If you’re single and want to look for love, make it a priority and don’t be afraid. Do…be your full, authentic self. Being true to yourself and confident in who you are is one of the most attractive qualities. And people are super attracted to confidence.
In fact, it’s one of the most important words in your dating vocabulary. Especially as women, we’re taught to be likable and easygoing on dates, and we focus more on how to be liked than whether or not we actually like them (but more on that below). You know what we should vow to end in 2022? Going on dates we’re not excited about, texting back people we don’t like, or not vocalizing what we want and need in our relationships to protect other people’s egos. Overall, let’s work on saying “no” when we want to say no. Compromise and empathy are crucial in relationships, but so is respect for each other’s wants and needs. Communicating what you don’t want should be just as easy as what you do. If it’s not, this person doesn’t respect you or care about you as much as they say they do. Thank you, next.
If you’re too intimidated to approach the kind of woman you think you deserve, while still rejecting all the ones that show interest in you, you’re going to remain single for a long time. Serial dating happens when a guy hasn’t settled down to really understand what he wants in a woman. These types of guys approach almost every girl they see. They use external beauty alone as their metric for evaluating girls. They don’t have standards or virtues they want in a woman. Their focus is simply hoping to get laid. The problem with this approach to dating is that it often ends up frustrating and confusing you. It’s immature, and it’s an unrealistic way of finding a partner. You’ll most likely end up getting more rejections than you can handle.
A man that is calm and put together has a unique aura. It’s no wonder why fictional characters like James Bond are portrayed as calm and collected people. A calm man is the opposite of an anxious and needy man. He has mastered himself. A woman can feel safe with him because he has a demeanor that makes you feel like nothing can go wrong with him. He gives you the impression that he’s a man who can handle himself. When he’s in a conversation with a woman, he sits with his shoulders back, looking at the woman straight in the eye. And since we pick up the dominant energy in social interactions, women also feel calm and relaxed around him, making them enjoy his company.
Communicate your preferences: Share your needs and preferences early. Many times, people are concerned they will appear “needy” or “high-maintenance.” No, you are setting expectations. If your work requires you to be on virtual calls most of the day and you cannot text or call during the day, communicate this and let the other party know when you are available. If you prefer daily check-ins, even just a little text to say hi, let the person know. Are you punctual? Express your appreciation for being on time to dates. Are you constantly running late? Give your date a heads up and apologize in advance.
FYI: Being alone is a good thing. A single relationship status or even just time spent on our own allows us to turn inward, explore our truest desires, and get to know ourselves better. When we know ourselves and what we want, our dating lives become more fulfilling, successful, and fun. Any amount of time alone can be invested to understand what we want out of a partner, but more importantly, it can make us feel so whole we don’t need a partner. Let me go on a quick tangent about a few outdated dating rules that we really should ditch, like, yesterday. To start, my least favorites of all dating rules are “Don’t kiss on the first date” and the “Three-date rule.” Let’s just throw out any rules that imply that what you want to do with your body and when you want to do it are not up to you. Make your own rules based on comfortability and what you’re feeling.
Work through your baggage. Everyone has a few scrapes and scars from previous experiences that can creep into their love lives. For instance, maybe your parents failed to show you consistent affection, and now you find yourself being extra needy in relationships. Or maybe your ex cheated on you, leaving you with some serious trust issues. Regardless of what baggage you’re carrying around, it’s time to dig deep and work through it. Otherwise, it may prove next to impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone new. Bottom line? Clear your mind of “the one who got away” and you’ll have a much easier time recognizing someone great when you see them. Whether that means meditating, working with a therapist or dating coach, practicing self-care, or keeping yourself busy with healthy distractions, the point is that you’ll be far more likely to actually achieve your romantic goals IRL, rather than just in your head.
So, what’s your pattern? Do you procrastinate on committing until the other person gets fed up and leaves? Do you get friend-zoned with every woman you like? Do you keep ending up with narcissists, cheaters, or flakes? It’s time to figure out why you’re making these decisions. Once you understand the root cause of your tendencies, you can start making modifications that promote healthier relationships. For example, if you always end up in the friend zone because you don’t have the confidence needed to make a move, then you’ll want to focus on building your self-esteem. By the way — a dating coach can help you with this. I’ve coached many men on being more assertive and self-assured in their dating lives so they can find love, not just friendship, with the woman of their dreams.
